Texas girl in the middle of Kiwiana

Amy Boatman

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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I knew it was going to happen. I even shaved my head before I started chemo so it wouldn't fall out in clumps. It's been almost three weeks since my first treatment. I was beginning to think maybe it wouldn't fall out. And then today it started happening.

Ever since I shaved my head I've fallen into the habit of rubbing it. It's so soft! Anyway, today I was thinking hard at work and rubbing my head when suddenly I noticed little grey hairs raining down on my desk. At first I thought it was just a few but no, they're all starting to fall out now. After my shower tonight the drain cover was full of grey hair.

I'm not vain about my hair. It's something that grows from head over which I have very little control. It's always done whatever it wanted regardless of what I tried to get it to do. When I was younger it was dark and curly. I had Shirley Temple ringlets if I let it get long. At that time in my life I didn't appreciate the curls. It didn't go with my more butch-like persona.

As I got older my hair began to turn grey and the texture changed. It went from curly to coarse and wiry. After a while it stopped growing down and started growing up and out. If I let it grow I'd end up with a bushy head of hair like Einstein. I rarely let it get very long because that's not a look I'm going for.

The fact that my hair is falling out means the chemo is working I suppose. It means I'm one step closer to getting rid of this fucking tumor. I've been checking the lump periodically and it seems to be getting smaller. I hope it is and it's not wishful thinking. I have my next treatment this Thursday and then I see Dr King the following week to do an ultrasound. Then we'll know for sure.

Until then, bring on the bald head!